Sudden Silence

A loss from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome is just that, sudden. Survivors are oftentimes unprepared for the death. Disbelief is one commonly voiced emotion amongst parents who have lost a child. It would be more comprehensible if the child had had some birth defect or an illness, but SIDS babies are perfectly healthy and their loss comes with no warning. Many new parents are uninformed about the possibility of this kind of a loss as healthcare providers are cautious about burdening expectant parents with anything extra to worry about. Meanwhile bereft parents often express a sense of betrayal toward the medical community that they were not forewarned. Each individual is different about tolerating the amount of information they need.

A newborn requires intensive, exhausting, hard work and most parents reorganize their schedules around the newborn’s sleep and feeding routine. When a child dies unexpectedly, after all the arrangements for any memorial services, it can be very disconcerting to return home and have nothing to do. And for the home to be so silent.

Oftentimes first-time mothers may have had no prior experience being in a hospital. So childbirth is a memorable event. After the death of the child many times the next thing that happens is a visit to the emergency room – possibly at the same hospital where the child was born. This maybe the parent’s second visit to the hospital in their lives.

Many parents have never experienced a death of a close relative and so the loss can be exceptionally shocking.

One way to get through these emotions is to share in a group setting.